children & stress
HELPING CHILDREN MANAGE STRESS IN UNUSUAL SITUATIONS
Children, as they grow, experience many regularities. They have parents who care for their needs; getting them up, feeding them, assisting them in getting to school, having dinner at a usual time, and going to bed on a schedule. In school they have teachers who guide them through the day’s activities with a great deal of structure and regularity. When something unusual interrupts the flow of life, the child may experience stress, anxiety and fear. Their bodies respond similarly to that of an adults in stressful situations. However, their emotional and intellectual characteristics are not yet fully developed and they will need assistance in managing their reaction. to the unusual events. How the adults in the child’s life react to the unusual events will affect how the child learns to deal with problem situation.
Children, as they grow, experience many regularities. They have parents who care for their needs; getting them up, feeding them, assisting them in getting to school, having dinner at a usual time, and going to bed on a schedule. In school they have teachers who guide them through the day’s activities with a great deal of structure and regularity. When something unusual interrupts the flow of life, the child may experience stress, anxiety and fear. Their bodies respond similarly to that of an adults in stressful situations. However, their emotional and intellectual characteristics are not yet fully developed and they will need assistance in managing their reaction. to the unusual events. How the adults in the child’s life react to the unusual events will affect how the child learns to deal with problem situation.
CHILDREN'S REACTIONS TO UNUSUAL SITUATIONS
Fear is a normal reaction for an adult or child when danger has been presented. Fear of both being hurt, separated, or losing control of the usual patterns is common. Fear in children can be stimulated by real danger or come from the child’s imagination. Both will seem real to the child. Adults around the child may also react to unusual situations with fear and anxiety, thus validating the child’s perception of the event and danger.
In natural disasters or situations of violence, concern is always focused on the physical safety or the risk of injury. Sometimes emotional concerns are overlooked because they may not be as obvious as the physical injury. Sometimes adults get angry at children when they are disruptive for no apparent reason. What must be remembered is that children do not always express their fears of concerns verbally. Their concerns may be acted out with negative behaviors or physical complaints. Sometimes children won’t express fears and concerns because they don't want to put more pressure on their parents or other adults. No matter how a child expresses his/her fears or stress, they must be recognized as real and valid. The child wants very much to get rid of the stress because it makes them feel physically uncomfortable.
The first step for adults to take is to try to understand what stress the child might be experiencing. Understanding this will allow for intervention which reduces the stress and allows the child to regain control over their world. Adults usually help children cope with problems. This helps put routine back into the child’s life and allows the child to feel somewhat comfortable even when dealing with unusual situations.
Fear is a normal reaction for an adult or child when danger is presented. Fear of both being hurt, separated, or losing control of the usual patterns is common. Fear in children can be stimulated by real danger or come from the child’s imagination. Both will seem real to the child. Adults around the child may also react to unusual situations with fear and anxiety, thus validating the child’s perception of the event and danger.
In natural disasters or situations of violence, concern is always focused on the physical safty or the risk of injury. Sometimes emotional concerns are overlooked because they may not be as obvious as the physical injury. Sometimes adults get angry at children when they are disruptive for no apparent reason. What must be remembered is that children do not always express their fears of concerns verbally. Their concerns may be acted out with negative behaviors or physical complaints. Sometimes children won’t express fears and concerns because they don't want to put more pressure on their parents or other adults. No matter how a child expresses his/her fears or stress, they must be recognized as real and valid. The child wants very much to get rid of the stress because it makes them feel physically uncomfortable.
The first step for adults to take is to try to understand what stress the child might be experiencing. Understanding allows for intervention which reduces the stress and allows the child to regain control over their world. Adults usually help children cope with problems. This helps put routine back into the child’s life and allows the child to feel somewhat comfortable even when dealing with unusual situations.
Fear is a normal reaction for an adult or child when danger has been presented. Fear of both being hurt, separated, or losing control of the usual patterns is common. Fear in children can be stimulated by real danger or come from the child’s imagination. Both will seem real to the child. Adults around the child may also react to unusual situations with fear and anxiety, thus validating the child’s perception of the event and danger.
In natural disasters or situations of violence, concern is always focused on the physical safety or the risk of injury. Sometimes emotional concerns are overlooked because they may not be as obvious as the physical injury. Sometimes adults get angry at children when they are disruptive for no apparent reason. What must be remembered is that children do not always express their fears of concerns verbally. Their concerns may be acted out with negative behaviors or physical complaints. Sometimes children won’t express fears and concerns because they don't want to put more pressure on their parents or other adults. No matter how a child expresses his/her fears or stress, they must be recognized as real and valid. The child wants very much to get rid of the stress because it makes them feel physically uncomfortable.
The first step for adults to take is to try to understand what stress the child might be experiencing. Understanding this will allow for intervention which reduces the stress and allows the child to regain control over their world. Adults usually help children cope with problems. This helps put routine back into the child’s life and allows the child to feel somewhat comfortable even when dealing with unusual situations.
Fear is a normal reaction for an adult or child when danger is presented. Fear of both being hurt, separated, or losing control of the usual patterns is common. Fear in children can be stimulated by real danger or come from the child’s imagination. Both will seem real to the child. Adults around the child may also react to unusual situations with fear and anxiety, thus validating the child’s perception of the event and danger.
In natural disasters or situations of violence, concern is always focused on the physical safty or the risk of injury. Sometimes emotional concerns are overlooked because they may not be as obvious as the physical injury. Sometimes adults get angry at children when they are disruptive for no apparent reason. What must be remembered is that children do not always express their fears of concerns verbally. Their concerns may be acted out with negative behaviors or physical complaints. Sometimes children won’t express fears and concerns because they don't want to put more pressure on their parents or other adults. No matter how a child expresses his/her fears or stress, they must be recognized as real and valid. The child wants very much to get rid of the stress because it makes them feel physically uncomfortable.
The first step for adults to take is to try to understand what stress the child might be experiencing. Understanding allows for intervention which reduces the stress and allows the child to regain control over their world. Adults usually help children cope with problems. This helps put routine back into the child’s life and allows the child to feel somewhat comfortable even when dealing with unusual situations.
HINTS FOR ADULTS HELPING CHILDREN
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1. Keep as close as possible to normal routines. Make necessary adjustment for safety, protection, convenience, and the child’s feeling of security. Any adjustment should be treated as a natural part of life at the time.
2. Keep natural units together as much as possible. The family should make a conscious effort to give reassuring support to the child in times of stress. Increasing the amount of time spent with the child may reassure both child and parent that things will be alright. A child experiencing stress may feel uncomfortable being left alone. Extra attention in providing additional support may be reassuring to the child. Reassuring words and actions by adults can help reduce stress. Making time to talk, listen, share, play, laugh, and cry with the child--even in the middle of difficult times--somehow makes things seem a little better. 3. Adults may also be experiencing stress and fear but usually have more maturity and experience to draw upon for coping with them. The adult’s strength in demonstrating coping skills will help reassure the child. It is sometimes helpful to let the child know adults have fears too, and they have to work to cope with them as well. 4. Listening is often a very helpful stress reducing tool. It is amazing what can be learned from and about a child when listening occurs. It gives an adult a chance to hear what concerns the child and to sort out real versus imagined worries. It also allows the adult to help the child put their world into perspective. Encourage children to talk in an atmosphere of acceptance. At the very least you will be able to assure them you can and will face the pressure together and find a way to cope together. 5. Communication needs to be clear. When talking with children be sure that the language used is at their level of understanding. Adults sometimes uses words that a child can say but have no meaning of. Clarifying understanding makes for good communication. 6. Let children know that worries and fears in unusual situations are natural. They are natural for everyone, but they do not need to control and syrupy life completely. Let them know stress and fears can be both controlled and reduced, and that you are there to help. Teach them some stress management skills using words at their level of understanding. 7. Children will need firm yet caring controls. Over permissiveness may not give enough structure under unusual conditions. Discipline should be maintained but not overdone. 8. Bedtime problems may occur for some children. They may not want to go to bed or experience trouble falling asleep They may even have nightmares. Spend time talking with the child--hearing their concerns and reassuring them. Have the child help in planning how to solve some of these concerns. Make adjustments as needed in schedule, sleeping area, and bedtime routine. Adjustments may be temporary and should have time limits agreed upon by all. Punishment is seldom helpful in resolving bedtime challenges. problems. Firmness and reassurance is usually more effective. Persistent problems may need professional intervention. 9. Regressive behaviors sometime appear in children. Thumb sucking, bed wetting, irritability, aggressive behaviors, clinging, nightmares, stomach aches, headaches, and other problems may occur temporarily. Talking about the pressure often reduces regressive behaviors. Punishment or over reaction are seldom helpful. Persistent problems may need professional intervention. |
Fears, anxiety, and stress are normal reactions in abnormal situations. The goal for any unusual circumstance is to regain as much control over life as possible. Even in circumstances that seem out of the person’s control can find areas that can be controlled. The more control a person gains, the more secure they feel. Search for appropriate ways to be involved in regaining control over life and help others to do the same whether they be children or adults. Unusual or abnormal situations are just that. They will get back to normal.
SOURCE- G. Michael Averett - Averett Southwick Associates, Inc. 1989
SOURCE- G. Michael Averett - Averett Southwick Associates, Inc. 1989