1. It’s okay for your children to see you cry. It teaches them that life is full of both joy and sorrow. Cry together.
2. Set a time to explain what has happened. Choose a time when you are feeling emotionally ready. Be honest and give accurate information. Address any concerns the child may have about him/herself or others dying.
3. Use simple terms to describe the situation. Relate the situation to something they can understand. Utilize examples in nature, things the child can see. Let the child speak openly and share his feelings.
4. Use this experience to teach your child that death is a normal part of living in this world. You have a good opportunity to implant a lifelong lesson and draw closer as a family.
5. When you speak about the death of your loved one, refer to it as “death.” Don’t use fantasy terms that will confuse. Don’t equate death with sleep or sickness.
6. Simply explain what happened to your loved one after death. It’s an open door to talk with your child about your views on life after death. The permanency of the death may need to be repeated, as small children do not always have a clear sense of time. It is important for your child to know that he/she will continue to be cared for even though their loved one has died.
7. Don’t exclude children from the funeral. Never force, but do encourage. Many times, seeing the casket and the body offers an opportunity for the child to say “goodbye.”
8. Disarm fears and guilt in the child’s mind by stating that the death was nobody’s fault. One of the best ways to prevent this is to deal with it head on.
9. Gather memories you have of your loved one. Let children write a letter or draw a picture to help say goodbye. Remember good times and talk about special memories together. Consider given your child a picture or memento.
10. utilize the help of family, friends, religious organizations, professionals, etc. in moving through your grief. Talk with family and friends. Attend support groups or seek counseling if needed.
11. Take care of yourself, so you can take care of your family.
SOURCE- Susan Witermeyer - Pingel, MS, ApRN, The Grief and Loss Program - University of Michigan Comprehensive Cancer Center, 2007. The Regents of the University of Michigan
2. Set a time to explain what has happened. Choose a time when you are feeling emotionally ready. Be honest and give accurate information. Address any concerns the child may have about him/herself or others dying.
3. Use simple terms to describe the situation. Relate the situation to something they can understand. Utilize examples in nature, things the child can see. Let the child speak openly and share his feelings.
4. Use this experience to teach your child that death is a normal part of living in this world. You have a good opportunity to implant a lifelong lesson and draw closer as a family.
5. When you speak about the death of your loved one, refer to it as “death.” Don’t use fantasy terms that will confuse. Don’t equate death with sleep or sickness.
6. Simply explain what happened to your loved one after death. It’s an open door to talk with your child about your views on life after death. The permanency of the death may need to be repeated, as small children do not always have a clear sense of time. It is important for your child to know that he/she will continue to be cared for even though their loved one has died.
7. Don’t exclude children from the funeral. Never force, but do encourage. Many times, seeing the casket and the body offers an opportunity for the child to say “goodbye.”
8. Disarm fears and guilt in the child’s mind by stating that the death was nobody’s fault. One of the best ways to prevent this is to deal with it head on.
9. Gather memories you have of your loved one. Let children write a letter or draw a picture to help say goodbye. Remember good times and talk about special memories together. Consider given your child a picture or memento.
10. utilize the help of family, friends, religious organizations, professionals, etc. in moving through your grief. Talk with family and friends. Attend support groups or seek counseling if needed.
11. Take care of yourself, so you can take care of your family.
SOURCE- Susan Witermeyer - Pingel, MS, ApRN, The Grief and Loss Program - University of Michigan Comprehensive Cancer Center, 2007. The Regents of the University of Michigan