Cold Case Foundation
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HOw to help someone who is grieving

Children & Grief
•   Allow the person to grieve in whatever way and for as long as each person needs

•   Reassure them that their feelings are not unusual

•   Accept that they may be struggling with explosive emotions, guilt, fear and shame

•   Be patient and understanding

•   Express sympathy about the death

•   Reassure them that the death was not their fault

•   Do not criticize them for expressing their emotions in an inappropriate way

•   Do not instruct them or give them and explanation about how they should feel

•   Remember that an unexpected death is a life altering experience

•   The faith and spirituality of grievers needs to be respected

•   Allow them to be angry with God - realize that if they are angry with God it speaks of them having a relationship with God

•   Don’t judge - be a loving friend

•   Encourage them to talk with their clergy

•   Allow grievers to cry freely

•   It is a healthy expression of grief and pain and releases tension

•   Providing soft tissues can be very helpful

•   Allowing grievers to talk about the victim, their life, the accident, murder, suicide, etc.

•   Just being present and listening without judgement are critical helping tools

•   Listen attentively

•   You do not have to answer

•   Realize that the repetitive retelling of the incident is a critical part of the hea ling process

•   Avoid simplistic explanations and cliches

•    Comments like, “Time heals all wounds,” “I know how you feel,” or “You need to be strong for other” are not constructive

•   Instead, they hurt and make a friends journey through grief more difficult

•   The best gift you can give someone who is grieving is not to impose your thoughts and feelings on the griever

•   Use the name of the person who has died when talking to grievers

•   Hearing the name can be comforting and confirms that their loved one has not been forgotten

•   Allow grievers to get angry with others, the ceased, the criminal, the criminal justice system, or simply the unfairness of life

•   Anger needs expression

•   Do not take their anger personally

•   Offering your time is valuable

•   Families need meals, driving to appointments, gathering information, picking up relatives, organizing or providing places for people to stay, answering the phone, making phone calls, taking care of children

•   Remember the grievers and deceased at holiday times, anniversary date of the death and birthdays

•   Let them know that your are their friend and that they mean a great deal to you

                        
© 2023, Cold Case Foundation Inc. - 501(c)(3)
  • Home
    • The Cold Case Foundation Mission
    • Behind the Brand
    • Videos
  • THE TEAM
    • EXECUTIVE TEAM >
      • Gregory M. Cooper - Executive Director
      • Dean Jackson - Deputy Executive Director
      • John E. Douglas - Chairman Emeritus
    • Executive Support Team >
      • Francine Bardole - Director of Forensic Sciences
      • Dana Boss - Analyst Supervisor
      • AJ Jackson - Creative Director
      • Dr. Lawrence J. Simon - Director of Research
      • Chris McDonough - Law Enforcement Relations
      • James Patrick - Director of Intelligence
      • Robert E. Taylor, Jr. - Director of Training
      • Cathie Vallas-McKinzie - Case Management Supervisor
      • James L. Vance - Communication Specialist
    • INVESTIGATIVE TEAM
    • FORENSIC TEAM
    • Investigative Support Services
  • Training
    • Training Schedule
  • Law Enforcement
    • Case Study
    • Volunteer Application
    • Funding & Resources
    • Victimization
  • Prevention
    • Stress Reduction >
      • Suicide Prevention
      • Terminology
    • Resources
  • Memorial
  • Our Network
    • Grief & Hope
    • Contribute
    • Testimonials
  • Partners
  • The Vault
  • Contact
    • MEDIA INQUIRIES